dreams....

So last night I had a very strange dream. I was helping some of my family redecorate my grandmother's house (although it wasn't her real house). My Dad and his brother had painted one room (including the curtains) in purple and green. It looked like they had painted over 23 coats of old peeling paint. I was in charge of laying a tile floor (my aunt bought 20 boxes of tiles non of which were the same). With this challenge, I decided to make a mosaic floor, but I couldn't get the tiles broke and laid in time so everyone was upset with me.

I have no idea what any of this means.... Maybe it means I should not eat a fudge bar before bed again!

Inspiration

I want to go here to see if I can get inspired. I was driving home from the store Sunday night and almost ran off the highway because I was trying to admire (and photograph) the wonderful sunset. I'll post pictures once I figure out how to get them off my phone! Right now, I seek inspiration from my Mr. Bubble jammy pants and my softy soft flannel sheets!

I did find a necklace at the store though... it is not exactly what I wanted, but it will do for now.

Lyrics I love

As just a little breather from this afternoon's ranting about how much Microsoft sucks I thought I would link you to the lyrics of some songs I really like at the moment....

Papa Roach - Scars

Silvertide - Devil's Daughter

I also really like Sex Slaves - All Night Long (mostly because of the name of the band).

And yes, I have noticed most of the songs I like have a sex theme.....

I hate Microsoft!!!

I jacked up my computer yesterday because I tried to install updates from their website. Since I had some spyware program on my computer that I didn't know about, the install failed. Then when I powered down my computer and tried to restart it later, I couldn't get in. I have since been on the phone with Microsoft and Dell for over 2 hours. I lost everything on my computer and had to reinstall everything. Now I have this little thing from Microsoft telling me I need to do critical updates! Fuck you Microsoft!! Fuck you and your not letting people know that you might loose everything on your computer if you try to use the fucking update!!

Can you tell I've been fucking with this since 8:30 this morning??? And I'm a bit bitter!!!

good bye cream puff

So, tonight was the happy hour for cream puff (or as I like to call her Lovebug). We had a good time. I promised that I would not drink too much, which I didn't.... I think I had 4 drinks from 5:30 to 10:30, which is pretty good considering I would normally have them within the first hour if I was going at my normal pace. I did however do a blow job shot about an hour before I left....

I did find someone to who would go with me in March to Vegas though.... And I think that the two of us can talk Ebeth into going as well.... We will have to see!!!

Now I'm going to head off to dreamland... I'll tell you all about tonight tomorrow morning!

bitter

So, you think that after seeing the hot bass player last night I could have a sex dream about her. Noooooo I have to dream about 87 and her curly hair that she had the other day. She knows I love her hair like that.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
--James Blunt "Goodbye My Lover"

sweet dreams...

I just got in from seeing the band with the hot bass player. There is just something sexy about a girl playing guitar! Good thing I'm starting lessons soon....

The best lyrics I heard today

So I heard this song on the Squizz on my way home tonight. I heard it the other day too, but I didn't pay much attention to it. Listening to it tonight got me thinking...

Lets go home and get stoned
We could end up makin love instead of misery
Go home and get stoned
Cause the sex is so much better when you're mad at me
You wear me out (We could end up making love instead of misery)

--Hinder "Get Stoned"

I wonder what it is like to have sex when you are mad... I mean, I don't think I could have sex with someone I was mad at. Usually if I'm mad, I want to punch someone... If someone were to hit me in the head while I was going down on them, I'd have to kick some ass right then and there. I mean, don't get me wrong, I can get into some biting and scratching and things like that, but punch me and the night is over! A girl has to have some standards!

I don't like my new dentist

I went to the dentist last Tuesday and had to have a filling redone. I have since been unable to eat with the right side of my mouth without almost peeing my pants. This afternoon I tried to eat part of a clemintine and got part of it stuck back there and the whole side of my face has hurt since. This means I will have to call again to have it fixed....

On a lighter note, I love my new sheets I bought the other day.... They are kind of strange (brown, green and blue stripes - man strips is what it said on the package) but they are very soft!

My memory is coming back.....

Oh, so I did remember another thing about Saturday night….

I ran into my Rabbit’s* mom at the bar. I was actually impressed with myself because I went up and talked to her. She and her girlfriend were excited to see me. She told me that Rabbit had a baby in July. They were very excited to be Grandmas! They asked if I was with anyone… I told them no, but didn’t want to get into the whole story.

So this got me wondering something…. Why is it that I have mostly dated straight women? Only 2 out of the six women I have dated are lesbians. Do you think that says something about me?

*Rabbit was the first woman I was in love with.

Two dancing chicks....

So, have you ever puked so hard you blew out a vessel in your eye?

Yep, that's how my night ended last night. Driving down Manchester with the door opened and my head hanging out.... It's a good thing I didn't fall out of the car! I think I remember everything, but there are a few things I don't remember. I can't remember when I took my sweater off (or where for that matter).... I remember dancing with a couple women I didn't know, but I don't know how we got together. I do remember asking a woman for a cigarette, which I think was the vomit inducer. I'm pretty sure I was acting like an ass too. Thanks to CP and Boobilicious, I didn't do any drunk dialing... I surrendered my phone and they refused to give it back until the morning. I do however think they have some crazy ass pictures of me. (One I got Boobilicious to delete {probably not before she emailed it to someone} by trying to take a picture of her in bed.)

CP and Boobilicious, I promise to be the DD next time we go out!

Today took way too long

I'm convinced that some days move drastically slower than others. I think there were at least 35 hours in the day today. I didn't have much that I really wanted to do at work today. It was kind of slow for a Friday.

The highlight of the day was when I came home and found the CD from the hot bass player in my mailbox. Included in the package was an invitation to their next show. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who got a personalized invitation, but a girl can fantasize can't she?? Only bad thing is it is next Thursday night at 9:30... Not so cool when you have to be at work at 8:30 the next morning.... Of course, I could just stay out all night!

I think I have a problem

I seriously think I am socially retarded. I don't know how to act anymore....

Sunday while we were in WalMart I almost started crying because I was there with Aunt B picking out yarn for an afghan she will be making for me. So the question is, why the hell would you almost start crying? It is all my Grandmother's fault. She had 26 grandchildren, 24 of whom had afghans made for them. Now, I am not the youngest of them all, so that doesn't explain why I didn't receive one. My brother got one, so the thought of her working by family doesn't pan out. No, my Grandmother did it out of spite. For some reason she did not like me. I remember the day that we found out she had died. I was crying and I turned to one of my co-workers and said "I have no idea why I'm crying, I didn't really like her much anyway...." So standing in the middle of WalMart with my friend who is now going to make me feel special by putting time and energy into something that my own flesh and blood would not do for me kind of got to me. But of course, I don't say anything because I'm the social retard.

Then there was an email I got from 87 this weekend telling me that one of her friends had died over the weekend and she asked if I knew our company's policy on funeral leave. Instead of responding with an I'm sorry to hear that or anything of that nature, I answered the question matter of factly, even advising her of what to say to her boss. Now you would think that my college education, especially the Death and Dying class would have come in handy here, but oh no, I'm the social retard!

And today was probably the worst. As if 87's week was not going bad enough, she got some unwanted news from the doctor. Of course the appointment was right before work (note to self, not doctor's appointments before or during work hours) so she did not want to be there. I of course ask what the problem is and she begins crying. I stand there like a dumb ass. I really wanted to go give her a hug and let her know that everything would work out, but again, the social retard has no idea what to do.

Does anyone know of a support group I can join????

Madam W

Have you ever seen the painting by John Singer Sargent, titled Madame X? It is one of my favorite paintings....

One of my other experiences from the weekend is about a friend of Aunt B's who I will refer to as Madam W. Madam W has beautiful short brown hair and big brown eyes. She is one of those touchy feely souls, who insisted on sleeping in the same bed as me both nights I was in Nashville. I won't soon forget being woken up by Madam W and her wild kisses.....

More stories from this weekend....

First, let me just say how much I hate computers sometimes! I just wrote a great post, but when I tried to copy and paste, I wasn't able to paste and all was lost! Damn you Bill Gates!!!

Anyway.... Here is my Saturday.....

We got up about 9 on Saturday so Aunt B could attend a meeting. Originally, I was going to drop her off and come back, however I realized that I don't really know my way around Nashville very well and probably wouldn't be able to find the place again. So I used my double secret CIA identity to infiltrate the board of directors meeting. Basically they get funds from Vandy to distribute to programs they think can most benefit from the funds. The woman in charged was wonderful! I could tell by her eyes and hands that she is a very caring person who feels passionately about the job she is doing. The program I found most interesting (really the one that I heard the most about) worked with mothers and infants in lower income areas. I forget the nifty anagram they had for the program. It was different from most programs because they take older, more experienced women from said area and teach and provide them with resources to assist the mothers and infants in their areas. They do things like find rides to doctors appointments to teaching new mothers how to care for the infants. The wonderful part is they rely on these older women from the communities instead of some outsider pulling up in their Lexus trying to relate. If I were in their situation I know that nothing would make me more upset than the person trying to help me having been sentenced to serving community service and picking me as the lucky person they take it out on. When you are in that situation, you don't want some snobby punk ass making you feel worse about yourself!

After the meeting, we meet up with the Professor and had sushi at the local place. It was wonderful, however the rolls did not have cucumber (I guess I'm spoiled!). At lunch, I insisted we needed to find the perfect necklace for me in my attempt to be sexier. Our first stop was the Hustler cafe. Needless to say, I found a few interesting t-shirts, but no necklace. We then went to some funky stores in the area. I did finally find a necklace I was in love with, however it was $300. Call me crazy, but $300 for a piece of metal with a line in the middle is really not a good deal! We gave up and decided to return home before going out for dinner.

We had dinner at a local Mexican restaurant. The Professor and Sarcasto joined us. Sarcasto was really funny, especially when he was ordering frufru drinks and drinking them from a straw! Could you be anymore gay?!?! We then picked up more alcohol and headed to Sarcasto's house for a good time. We watched a documentary about pimps (I want to be a female pimp), checked out his gun collection and watched cartoons! Wild and crazy crowd we are we stayed up until midnight!

Sunday Aunt B and I took Mrs. Wigglebottom for a walk in the park. I had such a good time walking and enjoying our conversation I barely noticed that it was cold outside! And my favorite part of Sunday was going to WalMart to pick out yarn so Aunt B could make me a man sized afghan. I almost started crying in WalMart. (I'll explain more in another post.) We then had dinner at a great BBQ place. I ate way too much, but loved every bit! I then dropped Aunt B and Mrs. Wigglebottom off and headed back to the metro area.

Time for stories from the weekend...

Sorry I've waited so long.... I was trying to collect all my thoughts!

So I drove down Friday night through the rain and snow. It wasn't bad at all.... I made the drive fun by singing at the top of my lungs ending with the Once Upon a mattress musical soundtrack. I almost got there without getting lost.... I missed the 440 exit at some point and ended up at the exit near Aunt B's old place..... After a couple of phone calls and 10 extra minutes on my drive, I made it!

Today....

I know I still haven't told you everything that happened on my trip to Nashville, but that will have to wait until tomorrow....

Today, I woke up early to have my new washer delivered at 9 am. Once that was here and installed, I was off to buy a matching dryer. I bought one and brought it home with me, all the way, thinking of who I could call to help me move it in. Instead of being a burden to anyone, I decided to move it in myself. Sounds like it would be easy.... Yes, maybe if I had a 2 wheel cart.... But yet again, not wanting to bother anyone else and being too cheap to invest in one, I tied a rope around the box and moved it that way. It was pretty easy, until I got down the outside steps and into the landing of the basement. It was at that point that I spent the next hour wedging and unwedging the box trying to mind the obstacles of the steps that lead upstairs and the random unused drain pipe. Finally I got it through the doorway of my half of the basement. I have since done 2 loads of laundry!

The only other strange thing that happened today was a phone call from my Dad. No, usually I don't consider phone calls from my Dad strange, however it was the conversation that was strange. He started by saying.... I want to ask you a few questions about when you went to high school.... He asked about who was on the school board and who the superintendent was and if there was a male teacher with a last name that started with a B. Finally I asked what the hell he was trying to find out for. I turnes out that one of my high school friends I knew since 6th grade had tried to kill herself again. In therapy, she said that she had been raped by teacher B. Supposedly now the school, including the school board at the time, the superintendent at the time and teacher B are being sued because they covered up the incident, which apparently not only happened to her but to at least 2 other girls. The thing is, I have no doubt that teacher B had sex with my friend (not by confirmation), however I think that both parties were consenting. She was underage at the time, so of course there is the issue of statutory rape. We will see since it is all supposed to come out in the paper tomorrow morning.

Did anyone miss me?

I know I usually tell you when I’m leaving, but this time I was just a bit busy…. Thursday night I helped CP and Boobilicious move some furniture from their basement to their garage so they could have work done to the basement. In return I got a home cooked meal… Can’t beat that deal, can you? Originally we were going to move the furniture from one room to another; however our plans were foiled due to a doorway that was an inch smaller than the couch. Instead, we had to carry them up the stairs, outside and into the garage. This was made more complicated by the fact that when we discovered we were going to have to move the furniture to the garage I was asked to install the legs on the couches. After installing and removing the legs, removing the door to the house and the garage, loosing my shoe on the stairs and almost puking on myself, we finally accomplished our task!

Friday I departed from work for my mini vacation to Nashville…..

I’m back now and promise that I will give you forewarning before I depart again!!

How did that get there???

Ok, I know this is gross but...... Can someone please tell me how you get a zit the size of a small island under your arm?

I was just taking a shower and noticed a lump in my armpit.... Of course the first thing I thought was "Great, now I have a tumor!" When I got out of the shower to dry off, I did what any one of you would do and poked around a bit... It was then that I discovered I didn't have a tumor!

My computer is pissing me off....

I am unable to log into any account that has anything to do with money.... I can't check my phone account, credit card account, cell phone account... nothing! What the hell is the deal? If there are any smarty computer people out there, please tell me what the hell is going on!!!

On the edge

I am on the edge of getting sick and I refuse to! I'm pissed off at work because people insist on coming in with all their crazy germs and spreading it across our section. Within the last 2 weeks 2 people were sent home because they were puking in their trash cans at their desk. I know that I went to work when I was sick last, but I didn't have a fever and only had a soar throat and cough.... I wasn't puking my guts out! At work today, I started to get a strange feeling in my stomach which was magnified by 10 fold because someone burnt their microwave popcorn!

The biggest reason getting sick would piss me off is because this weekend I am going on the first trip I've been on in almost 3 years. I'm going to visit one of my oldest friends, my psychic advisor Aunt B. It has been way too long since I last visited Aunt B and I'll have to beat someone about the head and shoulders if I have to stay home because I'm sick.... so watch out!!

Chewy and Plaidman

So normally I don’t blog about work, but tonight I’m breaking the rules!

One of my favorite places to spend time away from my desk is in the file/supply/mail room. It is there that I get to have inappropriate conversations with two of my favorite men, Chewy and Plaidman.

The other day we were having a discussion about these little “sign here” post-it flags that we use at work. Every time I go back there to get the flags I tease them about how I really just take them home and put them all over my body. We then had a discussion about how it would make a really good bird costume for Halloween. I agreed, but thought it would take a little too long to put together seeing as how the flags are about ½ in wide by an 1 ½ inches long. Plaidman’s solution was to have a few friends over to help me out adding that it would only take an hour or two. Of course I had to point out the fact that if I was going to have people come over to help put stickers all over the process might take more like 5 or 6 hours!

I lack passion

So in my day of nothingness today, I realized something. I lack passion.... no, not the passion I talk about most often, the other one.... the passion that keeps a person alive. The passion that drives someone to greatness. I have eliminated everything from my life that I was ever passionate about. When I was in college, I used to write.... Nothing brilliant, but it was mine.... and I used to throw clay.... again, nothing spectacular, but it possessed me for hours.... and draw.... even cooking.... I've not used my oven once since I moved in.... And I gave it all up because I couldn't do it flawlessly....

And now, I wake up saying "I fucking hate my life..."

I NEED MY PASSION BACK....

drunk ass.....

I'm a drunk motherfucker right now.... I just got back from the bar.... I should not go out.... I called 87 on the way home and told her stuff that I'm not supposed to, especially since I'm pretty sure she is dating a guy..... HMMMMM..... maybe I should have stuck around and wen't home with one of the hotties at the bar..... I'm sure my new pho mo turned someone on......

Shooting for the stars....

So I've taken a few steps to acquire stars on my calendar.... Yes, I know you are all probably tired of hearing me complain about not having the stars, but come on it's been since July....

This week I got up the courage to ask CP for the status of her house painter.... We met at the bar last week.... If nothing else, I would like to get to know her.... I've also taken steps to find out the status of the hot bass player, even though I was told she was a little goth looking.... Maybe that's what I need right now!!

We'll have to see what happens!!

I think my Dad is trying to poison me.....

So the long standing issue between me and my Dad is his need to put walnuts or pecans in everything he bakes.... This would not really be an issue except I am allergic to nuts..... We have had a conversation over and over and he still insists that it isn't that I'm allergic to them, but I just don't like them.... He is constantly telling me "I only put a few in" or "They are just on top and they're whole so you can just pick them off." This would not be an issue if it was all because I did not like the taste of them. My problem is that my body does strange things to me if I eat them... I'm not severely allergic to the point my throat closes, however I do get the sensation of having swallowed a million needles followed by an acid chaser.... To get the feeling to subside I have to drink gallons of ice water. The next couple of days is were the real fun lies.... I get canker soars all over the inside of my mouth..... I know, it's very hot, isn't it....

So why am I telling you all of this you may be asking yourself right now?? Because I have about ten billion canker soars in my mouth right now.... The fucker contaminated the Christmas cookies I love by putting them in the same container as ones with walnuts! The best part is my Mom ratted him out! I guess I'll just have to keep irritating him by dating women....

Not so smart things to do....

Did you know it is not a good idea to stop and get gas on a cold night when you really have to pee?

This stupidity is only topped by running straight to the bathroom to pee and touching your cold ass hands to your any part of your core body.... Makes the pee seem to fall right out of you in mid squat!

What died up your ass????

After work I went to Smash's to help her put up sheetrock and another wall in her basement. When I walked in the door, I was attacked by the one balled wonder (her wiener dog). While she was getting dinner out for us he was acting like a nutbag, jumping all over me and trying to take my shirt off.... Studboy showed up when we were finishing eating and we forced him to help us.... Actually I had talked to him earlier in the day and insisted that we needed his "big guns" to help hold up the sheetrock.... men fall for anything!!! So after having a strange conversation consisting of partner swapping and Studboy's Naval escapades we went to the basement to work on our project. The whole time we were working Studboy was farting... I'm not sure what the hell was in his ass, but I think he really needed to check on it because whatever it was, it died a long time ago.... Halfway through the project he made Smash go get him his 12th meal of the day.... When she returned with his tacos and burger she started yelling at him because the entire house smelled! I'm not sure if the smell will ever go away.... I think she will have to sleep with the windows open tonight to make sure she wakes up in the morning....

At least most of the closet sheetrock is done and one more wall is up....

Late night with Studboy....

So, how did you survive without hearing from me for a day??? My trip to exit 82 lasted longer than I had expected. When I got home, I barely got the door shut behind me before Studboy showed up. Studboy is Smash's brother. Remember in a previous post when I offered to have his baby?? Well, he showed up to take me up on my offer......

Of course we didn't do anything!!! I don't know what the hell you were thinking!! I'm not that kind of girl.....

We sat around and talked about why he called off his engagement (He just asked the chick on Christmas....), my big tits and how hot we both think Salma Hayek is (I picked up a Glamour magazine on my way home... I was pissed because I couldn't find a Maxim at any of the 3 stores I went to!) He shared a bunch of his sex stories and got himself worked up enough that he had to go home. Studboy has some wild ass stories! Maybe I should take a few pointers from him!! I'm sure that could get me a star or two!

Off to exit 82 again

So I woke up this morning at 9:30... After going to bed at 4:00 you would think I could sleep a bit longer. I've spent most of the morning watching crap on TV and taking an hour long shower.... Now I'm packing up some stuff for a trip home. I'm sure you will all miss me for the day that I'm away.... I'm off for a covert shopping trip with Sissy.... I say covert because I have not asked her to go, but I'm sure she will.

Oh yes, and by the way.... Yesterday I picked up a couple new CDs. Rob Thomas, James Blunt and Nickelback.... They have been wonderful thus far!

Happy New Year!!

So, it is now 2006. I actually did not sit at home this year like I told everyone I was going to. Last night I got invited to ring in the new year with the party people. We hung out at their house and drank some blue hurricanes made with 151. Three of us drank a big ass bottle of it. Of course, Guru was there to make sure no one got too out of hand. I tried to talk Guru into going out so we could get some stars on our calendars (the party people's way of keeping track of what days they had sex) but he wasn't up for it tonight... I could really use some stars tonight!! Peaches (she doesn't really want anyone to call her that, but because I'm drunk and can't think of a different name she'll have to get over it) came after she got off work and had a bottle of Asti in hand. We downed that as well. I'm actually surprised that I could walk after that, but we hang around for a couple hours to sober up.

Now I'm safe and warm in my own bed and I'm ready to sleep for hours.....