The Birthday Surprise
First let me just say that I've never been good at this whole journaling thing, so don't be surprised that this is only the 3 post.
As I was driving home from the store tonight I was thinking back to my 30th birthday party that was at the beginning of the month.... My Mom called me 3 or 4 times the week before to make sure that I was coming home for my birthday so she could have everyone over. She definitely made a bigger deal out of it than I did.
Anyway, while we were sitting around talking after eating dinner my uncle blurts out "You need to find a man and have a baby because your Dad wants a grandson." To that others around the table replied, "He has 2 now." To which he replied, "He wants a real one." Now let me just say that this may not be verbatim, however this is the jest of how things went.
My Dad has 2 step-grandsons, hence the wanting a "real" grandson reference. I'm not sure if my Dad really feels this way or if it was just a thought that came across my uncle's mind. Since I've told my parents I am a lesbian we have never really talked about certain things, one of which is me having children. I have thought about it on occasion but would never feel comfortable discussing it with either of my parents. Not that they wouldn't be understanding, just it seems very strange. I mean it's not something that can just happen by mistake. It would have to be a well thought out, planned event. Who would the father be and how would the actual act take place?? All questions I have no answer to, let alone would I feel comfortable discussing it with my parents.
The other issue is the fact that I haven't dated a man for about 9 years. I've been in a few relationships with women, the longest lasting 3 years. My parents have met almost every woman I have dated and have been very cool about things. My extended family (including said uncle) have also met these women and I assumed they understood the circumstances of the relationships. However, after his comment, I'm wondering if I actually have to come out and tell them face to face. I mean can people really be that oblivious? 9 years with me only bringing women to family functions....
As I was driving home from the store tonight I was thinking back to my 30th birthday party that was at the beginning of the month.... My Mom called me 3 or 4 times the week before to make sure that I was coming home for my birthday so she could have everyone over. She definitely made a bigger deal out of it than I did.
Anyway, while we were sitting around talking after eating dinner my uncle blurts out "You need to find a man and have a baby because your Dad wants a grandson." To that others around the table replied, "He has 2 now." To which he replied, "He wants a real one." Now let me just say that this may not be verbatim, however this is the jest of how things went.
My Dad has 2 step-grandsons, hence the wanting a "real" grandson reference. I'm not sure if my Dad really feels this way or if it was just a thought that came across my uncle's mind. Since I've told my parents I am a lesbian we have never really talked about certain things, one of which is me having children. I have thought about it on occasion but would never feel comfortable discussing it with either of my parents. Not that they wouldn't be understanding, just it seems very strange. I mean it's not something that can just happen by mistake. It would have to be a well thought out, planned event. Who would the father be and how would the actual act take place?? All questions I have no answer to, let alone would I feel comfortable discussing it with my parents.
The other issue is the fact that I haven't dated a man for about 9 years. I've been in a few relationships with women, the longest lasting 3 years. My parents have met almost every woman I have dated and have been very cool about things. My extended family (including said uncle) have also met these women and I assumed they understood the circumstances of the relationships. However, after his comment, I'm wondering if I actually have to come out and tell them face to face. I mean can people really be that oblivious? 9 years with me only bringing women to family functions....
posted by shug | 8:08 PM
5 Comments:
My elder relatives, bless 'em, live in a world in which lesbianism never crosses their mind. Nope. Not the least little bit. In their day, sonny, wimmen danced together at weddings because the men were all too drunk to dance. Or they went to family functions together because maybe one of them was going to introduce the other to cute cousin Randolph. In a way, their entrenched heterosexism makes it somewhat more easy to be out without coming out.
As I remember, Aunt B had the flip side of this relative problem -- relatives too eager to assign her a lesbian identity and trying way hard to be cool and accepting. I think the common denominator here is nosy old people, and sadly no legal solution exists to rid us of them. We can only hope to live so long as to claim the right to comment freely on other people's reproductive choices at family functions and then refrain from exercising it.
Welcome to the whole blogging thing.
Still, I must say that it cracks me up, with as close as your family lives, that this gossip hasn't spread.
Plus, don't you have a manly cousin who just got married? Can't he spurt out some manchildren for the family? Or what about your other cousin? She has a son or two. Can't she share with your dad?
Heck, the recalcitrant brother has two sons that look like generic germanic-descent folks. Your dad can borrow one of them.
Perhaps you could find an aging folk/rock star to father your potential children. It worked for Melissa. Twice. I'm not sure David Crosby would have been my first choice, though.
(Happy Belated Birthday!)
Oh, Peg, brilliant idea! May I suggest Art Garfunkle? He could use the good press.
Thanks for the comments everyone! I must admit that I cannot understand how it is not common knowledge since my wonderful cousin blurts it out every chance she gets! She is constantly telling her father (the uncle) but apparently he has that wonderful disease Can't Remember Shit (CRS - which are ironically his initials!) And the funnier thing is I'm manlier than either of his sons-in-law!!
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